By Erica Holbrook
Since tween/teen brains are not fully developed, they are more vulnerable to the pitfalls that ails social media. In an article by Zara Abrams in the APA February 3, 2022, Why young brains are especially vulnerable to social media, she stated “starting around age 10 children's brains undergo a fundamental shift that spurs them to seek social rewards, including attention and approval from their peers. “And around that same time we hand them a smartphone.”
Remember the most important purpose to your tweens/teens life right now is peer acceptance. Social media platforms offer them abundant opportunities for rewarding affirmation through the likes, comments, status and followers they get. To maintain this approval and attention your tween/teen will be tasked with creating bigger and better images than before. This requires hours doing videos and editing selfies over and over again until perfect. Their identities become solely based on either positive or negative judgements by their peers, aka followers, in social media.
Moreover, your tween/teen lacks the life experiences and skills of adults. As adults, we have a grip on who we are and are better equipped to handle our emotions when it comes to acceptance, rejection, and judgment from our peers. Having a solid sense of self, we do not rely solely upon our friends or coworkers for validation and affirmation. And we certainly don’t seek it from social media even if we use it as a learning or entertainment resource. Adults also understand that social media is a place for “bragging” imagery. These all make most adults less susceptible to the negativity that social media can devolve into.
Our tweens/teens have not solidified who they are and desperately need and seek validation and attention from their peers. And as Abrams said, tween/teen brains are biologically wired to obtain social rewards, especially from their peers. Social media fulfills these rewards by the number of likes, comments and followers they get. The more of these, the more the excitement and happiness your tween/teen feels. Can you imagine how rewarding and energizing it is to have countless friends complimenting your every move and style across multiple social media platforms? Oh the celebrity, the validation! In fact, it's scientifically proven that dopamine levels increase when we have positive social situations. Dopamine is responsible for sending the brain pleasure, satisfaction and motivation signals after engaging in a rewarding experience.
But here’s the catch, in order for your tween/teen to maintain that dopamine effect, they have to constantly post new content with flawless pictures and videos to attract new likes, comments and followers. This may also lead them to post risky photos and videos exposing themselves to dangerous predators, rumor mills and having permanent images plastered all over social media platforms for anyone to see. They may also be subjected to negative feedback convincing them they are not worthy of validation or friendship.
Your tween/teen has established an online identity and network of followers, whether positive or negative, in lieu of real, healthy relationships that cultivate both social and life skills and solid support networks to rely on. So when things on social media go wrong or devolve your tween/teen is left with little to no support feeling further isolated, unworthy and uncared for. Tweens/teens go through these situations with peer groups even without social media. Yet, social media magnifies these feelings as it's far reaching outside of school, sports and hobby groups. Understanding your teen’s vulnerability to social media now, helps you see how social media platforms can leave them feeling isolated, lonely, anxious and depressed.
